Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
