if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
