just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
PANTIES FOUND
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
