one might say we're banned from that church
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
