I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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