so that wasnt chicken after all
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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