I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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