think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
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