I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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