Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
It's blow job season.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
