Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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