SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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