i was rollin on her like bob the builder
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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