You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
