She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
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Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
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I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
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