Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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