is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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