We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
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