Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
