I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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