i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
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so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
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Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
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