Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
