as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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