How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
