I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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