do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
My brain says no but my pants say off.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
