Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize