My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
