I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
