i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
