I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
It's just like the Real World with babies
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
