Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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