im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
