We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
