just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
