Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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