Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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