It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
