Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize