i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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