I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i barfeds in our rink
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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