i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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