life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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