his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
