just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize