The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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