Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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