I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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