so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I want her autograph on my taint
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
