so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
