Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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