she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
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