shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Life is so much better after having sex.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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