Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Randomize
