i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
