The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
