you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
