Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
