I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize